Reasoning against competition
Sometimes I find it hard to stop myself from comparing with others to have it better, or who are doing something better - strangers on social media, classmates, and though I hate to admit it, sometimes friends. I find that comparing myself with strangers has an upsetting effect on myself, however, doing so with my friends gives me a greater punch in the gut. First, I feel bad because of a feeling that I'm getting left behind while (seemingly) everyone gets ahead, which of course, is nobody's fault but my own (for comparing). Secondly, I feel even worse when it happens with my friends because they are my friends; I'm supposed to be happy for them and their achievements. What is wrong with me?
Perhaps I could try to justify my emotions with relation to Biology. 'The Selfish Gene' by Richard Dawkins is arguably the most well-known book (After Darwin's 'On the origin of species') in the discipline of evolutionary biology. Well, genes are selfish. They 'act' through our bodies to survive and pass them down to our offspring. Thus, it is expected that animals display selfish behaviour that ensures their survival and reproduction against others from the same and different species. Male-male competition is predominant in the animal kingdom, where males actively fight over females to mate with, or try out-competing one another by means of display (Look at the peacock). The Red Queen Hypothesis is a great example to show the constant change in the animal kingdom. Take the lion, who has to run faster than the gazelle in order for it to get enough food for the day. In turn, the gazelle has to run even faster for it to be able to survive any predator attacks. This goes on in a constant cycle of selfish "improvements".
However, humans are different. We have evolved to build large empires, towering skyscrapers and expand across the globe like no other creature before us. One of the factors that enabled us to achieve this is cooperation. Putting our own selfishness aside, we are able to risk our lives for things greater than ourselves and our genes - for example, a soldier prepared to die in a war for his countrymen, who are in no way related to him by blood.
But I digress. The fact is, sometimes I find it hard to stop being selfish, sometimes I find it hard to be genuinely happy and wish others to do well and even better than me. There is some deeply competitive streak in me, that forces me to up the pace on the treadmill one bar higher than the person jogging beside me, that forces me to feel bad for having a rest day when my friends are working out. Is this some kind of sick vestige from the past where my genes simply don't want me to lose out for the fear of death, of being caught by some predator?
Whatever the reason is, after some reflection, I have realised that I have forgotten who the true competition is - myself. In the human world where we don't have to worry about being an unsuspecting prey daily, I think is it safe to say that I have to force myself to move past adhering to my emotions and start being a better cooperative player.
A helpful method for this is to set individual goals. I found that when I set for myself my own expectations and goals to meet, I stop focusing on what others are doing and start focusing on my own progress. If it is my day to rest, then so be it. There is no "better" or "worse". Each new day I will progress at my own pace, and so will the others around me. And that is completely okay. In fact, it is great that my loved ones are succeeding too. Also, I also want to remind myself that a little bit of friendly competition is fine, emphasis on the friendly. I guess the first step to improving oneself is to admit your flaw or mistake, then address it. If that's the case, then I have finally gotten this huge burden I've carried with me for most of my life! I'm a jealous competitive b*tch! (Sometimes) I can finally acknowledge this out loud, and I admit that it's wrong. I'll do my best to try and focus on myself, for every aspect of my life.
My end goal is to be able to genuinely wish everyone around me to succeed, and even surpass me in areas that I think I am good at. This is not an indication that I give up and want to stop striving to be the best that I can be. I will still continue doing so. However, I honestly believe that good things will multiply. Love is infinite. Try and keep love all to yourself, you will find yourself running dry of it. Give love freely, and you receive it back endlessly. I have the same belief towards wealth and success too. In helping others, I believe you get so much more. Perhaps this is why Homo sapiens has gotten so much further with cooperation than all the other animal species out there.
Perhaps I could try to justify my emotions with relation to Biology. 'The Selfish Gene' by Richard Dawkins is arguably the most well-known book (After Darwin's 'On the origin of species') in the discipline of evolutionary biology. Well, genes are selfish. They 'act' through our bodies to survive and pass them down to our offspring. Thus, it is expected that animals display selfish behaviour that ensures their survival and reproduction against others from the same and different species. Male-male competition is predominant in the animal kingdom, where males actively fight over females to mate with, or try out-competing one another by means of display (Look at the peacock). The Red Queen Hypothesis is a great example to show the constant change in the animal kingdom. Take the lion, who has to run faster than the gazelle in order for it to get enough food for the day. In turn, the gazelle has to run even faster for it to be able to survive any predator attacks. This goes on in a constant cycle of selfish "improvements".
However, humans are different. We have evolved to build large empires, towering skyscrapers and expand across the globe like no other creature before us. One of the factors that enabled us to achieve this is cooperation. Putting our own selfishness aside, we are able to risk our lives for things greater than ourselves and our genes - for example, a soldier prepared to die in a war for his countrymen, who are in no way related to him by blood.
But I digress. The fact is, sometimes I find it hard to stop being selfish, sometimes I find it hard to be genuinely happy and wish others to do well and even better than me. There is some deeply competitive streak in me, that forces me to up the pace on the treadmill one bar higher than the person jogging beside me, that forces me to feel bad for having a rest day when my friends are working out. Is this some kind of sick vestige from the past where my genes simply don't want me to lose out for the fear of death, of being caught by some predator?
Whatever the reason is, after some reflection, I have realised that I have forgotten who the true competition is - myself. In the human world where we don't have to worry about being an unsuspecting prey daily, I think is it safe to say that I have to force myself to move past adhering to my emotions and start being a better cooperative player.
A helpful method for this is to set individual goals. I found that when I set for myself my own expectations and goals to meet, I stop focusing on what others are doing and start focusing on my own progress. If it is my day to rest, then so be it. There is no "better" or "worse". Each new day I will progress at my own pace, and so will the others around me. And that is completely okay. In fact, it is great that my loved ones are succeeding too. Also, I also want to remind myself that a little bit of friendly competition is fine, emphasis on the friendly. I guess the first step to improving oneself is to admit your flaw or mistake, then address it. If that's the case, then I have finally gotten this huge burden I've carried with me for most of my life! I'm a jealous competitive b*tch! (Sometimes) I can finally acknowledge this out loud, and I admit that it's wrong. I'll do my best to try and focus on myself, for every aspect of my life.
My end goal is to be able to genuinely wish everyone around me to succeed, and even surpass me in areas that I think I am good at. This is not an indication that I give up and want to stop striving to be the best that I can be. I will still continue doing so. However, I honestly believe that good things will multiply. Love is infinite. Try and keep love all to yourself, you will find yourself running dry of it. Give love freely, and you receive it back endlessly. I have the same belief towards wealth and success too. In helping others, I believe you get so much more. Perhaps this is why Homo sapiens has gotten so much further with cooperation than all the other animal species out there.
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